Review: Blades of Time

Blades of Time review

“Guns. Swords. Booty? All in good time…”

Blades of Time is the spiritual successor to X-Blades, and while it features a dual-sword wielding blonde babe named Ayumi it is not in fact a sequel.

In Blades of Time you control self-proclaimed treasure hunter Ayumi as she slices and shoots her way through Dragonland in search of her partner and a magical portal home. Along the way she’ll have to contend with warring factions, feral creatures, and environmental hazards…all while wearing booty shorts and a tiny tank top – the perfect outfit for killing lots of monsters!

Find out if Blades of Time delivers the booty after the jump.

Blades of Time Ayumi

Blades of Time
Systems: Playstation 3 [Reviewed], XBox360
Developer: Gaijin Entertainment
Publisher: Konami
Released: March 06, 2012
MSRP: $39.99

The best thing I can say about playing Blades of Time is that the fighting is fun and responsive. I had a good time slicing up enemies with my swords and figuring out new strategies. It’s easy to pull out your rifle and start shooting monsters from afar, but unlike Devil May Cry, as soon as enemies get in close you’ll primarily rely on your swords and magic spells. As you make your way through the single player campaign you can upgrade Ayumi with new powers that let her shoot walls of fire or ice out of her hands. Finding new amulets and swords in hidden treasure chests (not the ones under her tank top) give you buffs like resistance to fire attacks.

Once you acquire the ability to rewind time the real fun begins. Unlike in Prince of Persia, you don’t rewind time to re-do a missed jump. Instead, you use it to create a duplicate of yourself which enables you to solve puzzles and doubles your fighting power. Some enemies and bosses can only be defeated by rewinding time: one version of yourself distracts the enemy with a very minimal quick time event while the other travels back in time to attack the enemy from a different angle. It’s actually pretty cool.

It’s a lot of fun to come up with new ways to use the rewind feature in battle and it never quite gets old. Unfortunately the rest of the game isn’t as fleshed out. The environments are fairly well made and pretty to look at, but they are completely unoriginal. Jungle enviroment? Check. Ice world? Check. The enemies are similarly uninspired. You know who the bad guys are because they, well, look like bad guys. The story is more complicated than it needs to be and was a bit hard to follow.

It’s important to note that I counted only 3 different models for all the male characters in the game (and that includes 10 identical dudes trying to rebuild a crashed airship). There’s no reason in the story for all the male characters to look the same (this isn’t Star Wars Clone Wars after all) and it was distracting to say the least.

Do you want to know what else is distracting? Ayumi’s incessant talking. Seriously, I hope you like her voice because you are going to hear a lot of it.

As fun as the fighting is in Blades of Time it’s nothing that hasn’t been done better somewhere else. Gaijin Entertainment doesn’t try to break the mold or bring any new ideas to the table. If you think of Blades of Time as more of a B movie version of Tomb Raider and Devil May Cry then you might just have a good time with it. Thankfully Konami had the good sense of not charging full price for Blades of Time, but in an already crowded market it might have made more sense to make it a downloadable title instead of a full retail game.

Game: 3/5

Blades of Time review

As you can see from the box art Ayumi is definitely hot. Her main costume is revealing yet (sort of) functional looking. Since you spend most of the game looking at her backside it’s a plus that Ayumi’s ass is so round and spankable. As nice as her butt is you are gonna want to spin the gamer around once in a while because her breasts are insanely perky. It must be cold in Dragonland because Ayumi’s nipples can cut glass.

As the story progresses Ayumi gets more costumes that are environment specific. Honestly I think it’s cool that she’s not running around half naked through a snow stage but none of the costumes are as sexy as the one she starts off with. Unfortunately these costume changes mean Ayumi is only wearing her hottest outfit for the first third of the game. Weaksauce.

A major detraction from Ayumi’s hotness factor is her constant narration. Seriously, she talks throughout the entire game….to herself. Hot chicks should be seen and not heard.

The only other female character in the game is a pirate captain named Michelle. Her all black outfit, goth makeup, and inappropriately tall black boots certainly make her fuckable but since her character model isn’t as detailed as Ayumi you’re going to need a bit of imagination to make it work.

Bottom line: Would I jerk off to Ayumi’s in-game character model? Probably not. Would I jerk off to hentai based on her or Michelle? Absolutely, though I doubt Blades of Time will garner enough attention to warrant fan art.

Hotness: 2/5

– Geist01

Blades of Time review

Blades of Time review

Blades of Time review

Blades of Time review

Blades of Time boxart

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