NSFW Gamer’s Most Anticipated Games of Spring

Games of Spring 2012

It’s that time of year again, the season that all gamers dread – Spring.

Sure it’s nice outside, and the birds are chirping, but unfortunately for us this is when our hobby experiences a bit of a lull. Traditionally, gamers have been known to use the lack of new game releases as an excuse to catch up on their backlog but this spring might be a bit different.

There are some potentially awesome games scheduled to come out over the next few months and we list all the ones we can’t wait to get our pervy fingers on.

KamikazeQ’s Most Anticipated Spring Releases

Silent Hill: Book of Memories (Playstation Vita – March 27)

Games of Spring 2012 Silent Hill Book of Memories

The Silent Hill series is filled with bizarre imagery referencing sexual frustration and desire via monsters such as the sexy faceless nurses. I’m hoping Book of Memories stays true to that format and more. I doubt it will be anywhere close to the sexualized rompt that made up Shattered Memories on the Wii, but a nipple slip or two could always pop-up where you least expect it.

Lollipop Chainsaw (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – June 12)

Games of Spring 2012 Lollipop Chainsaw

Chainsaw, check. Scantly clad blonde, check. Zombies, check. Has Suda51 managed to decipher the formula for the perfect hack and slash game? With it’s celebrity voice cast and script written by veteran writer/director James Gunn, Lollipop Chainsaw is set to be another fantastic Suda51 trip to hold me over until an American HD port of No More Heroes 2 arrives. Is it too much to ask for PS Move support so I can enjoy some one-handed play?

Girl Fight (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – Q2 2012)

Games of Spring 2012 Girl Fight

Girl Fight jumped onto my radar out of nowhere and publisher Majesco has been pretty quiet about it…and that kinda tease only makes me want it more. I love fighting games and the lovely ladies that fight among each other for dominance, this game promises to deliver on both fronts. To me Girl Fight harkens to Rumble Roses XX but takes it to the next level with it’s unabashed sex appeal.

Anystrom0’s Most Anticipated Spring Releases

Devil May Cry HD Collection (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – April 3)

Games of Spring 2012 DMC HD

I know a lot of people are convinced that HD collections are simply a quick moneymaker for game publishers. Stop your goddamned whining. There are people who never got a chance to play some of these games and now they can on one convenient disc. The DMC HD Collection gives us the debut of the series which shaped the action genre for years, a mediocre sequel that didn’t come close to matching up, and a third game that caused many a controller to be thrown in frustration. What else did Devil May Cry give us? Let’s see here…Trish, Lucia, and Lady. I could go on a while, but hentai hoarders know what I mean. Oh, and without Devil May Cry, we wouldn’t have Bayonetta.

Mortal Kombat (Playstation Vita – May 2)

Games of Spring 2012 Mortal Kombat Vita

Yes, I know, the latest MK game already came out, redefined what “fucking awesome” meant for the series, and gave us countless hours of spank and swank moments with the trademark Mortal Kombat women. With a lust for blood and tits bigger than your head, I’ve logged dozens of hours climbing the Challenge Tower to see just how much clothing I can remove from Mileena. The fact that I can now take the Flesh Pit costume with me on a handheld is perfect for when I need some alone time, and NetherRealm Studios is including some bonuses for the Vita. All previously released DLC is included, along with some new and exclusive features, like wiping blood off your touch screen during a battle. This is called win-win, people.

Lollipop Chainsaw (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – June 12)

Games of Spring 2012 Lollipop Chainsaw

It’ll be a week before summer, but the hottest game of the entire year – never mind just Spring – will hit us thanks to Suda51. Juliet Starling wears whatever costume you choose for her, carries around for boyfriend’s severed head and faces off against an undead army captained by the Bosses of Zombie Rock. The music is done by Akira Yamaoka and Jimmy Urine from Silent Hill and Mindless Self Indulgence, respectively. If this formula doesn’t get you hot, you don’t have a fucking pulse. I’m predicting an early contender for Game of the Year, and at least a few “WTF?!” moments throughout the game.

BDN’s Most Anticipated Spring Releases

The boss wants us to write about what games we’re looking forward to in the next few months, which is ignoring the fact that Spring is now, and will always be, the worst season for game releases. That being said, I managed to find a few that look worth while.

Skullgirls (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – Q1 2012)

Games of Spring 2012 Skullgirls

First, SkullGirls, which is a game I oddly did not find out about from our site. SkullGirls is a fighting game featuring nothing but ladies, which will clearly feature much jiggling and bouncing. I have no reason whatsoever to want to play this game, and genuinely, I never will. This game will still somehow find a way into my collection, much like Gravion, Desert Punk, and a few dozen HORRIBLE anime shows I’ve owned simply because of their glorious tit content. By the same effect, I’ll likely play it once, get a boner, and put it away forever. Here”s hoping there a boob-tastic anime attached to it, so I can buy another terrible show.

The Avengers: The Movie (Playstation 3, XBox 360, Wii – May)

Games of Spring 2012 Avengers

Second up, a game that promises to have an incredible amount of action, The Avengers movie game. Much like SkullGirls, I’m pretty sure this game will be the same version of terrible that all other superhero movie games have been, since they were first invented. If you’re sensing a theme, you’ll recognize that I also have no interest in playing this game. This game, however, has one thing that every man is going to want to do in it: control a gloriously red-haired Scarlett Johansson. That’s right all, we get to tell the greatest looking real woman ever (in digital form) to do whatever we want. Somehow I doubt this game will let her do a striptease, so lets start flexing our imaginations right now in preparation.

Diablo III (PC – May 15)

Games of Spring 2012 Diablo 3

In a strange twist of fate, there’s actually a game coming out that I want to play. Diablo III has been in production for about four hundred thirty years or so, which is typically the kiss of death in game development *cough Duke Nukem Forever cough*, but I have more (misplaced?) trust in Blizzard. What this game might lack in NSFW appeal, it should make up in half-MMO, half-Monster Hunter gameplay that I can probably convince a few idiots to play with me. Oh, by the way, there’s a wonderfully sexy demon-killing biscuit in the game too. Now if I could just zoom WAY the hell in and ogle her cans in town, I’d be a happy smut-game-journalist.

Mario Tennis Open (3DS – May 20)

I’d like to note an honorable mention to Mario Tennis on the 3DS. I don’t care if the game will be good, or even playable. Peach is one shapely future queen, and I’m looking forward to painfully-detailed motion capture and tennis-lady grunting from her.

Games of Spring 2012 Mario Tennis 3DS

Sullivan O. Bradley’s Most Anticipated Spring Releases

Max Payne 3 (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – May 15)

Games of Spring 2012 Max Payne 3

Ah good old Max Payne – remembered for having the best bullet time gameplay and the most constipated face in video game history. Now we skip forward a few years and Max Payne 3 is upon us and it looks to bring back flashy bullet time action and bald headed, bearded faces. Times sure do change. But seriously Max Payne 3 looks mad sick. Vanquish and Bullet Storm were great games that gave us a taste of bullet time action but it’s about damn time the king returns to his throne. So what if the setting isn’t New York and there isn’t snow? This is Rockstar, they know what they’re doing. Everything they’ve shown looks incredible and I can’t wait to get my hands on Max Payne 3.

Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii – April 6)

Games of Spring 2012 Xenoblade Chronicles

With the Wii U imminent and decent Wii games drying up faster than a puddle in the desert, it would be nice to dust the system off one last time and say goodbye with at least a good game. Well how about a game that redefines, or at least reinvigorates, an entire genre? Xenoblade Chronicles is schedule for release in North America this spring but has already been released in Europe since September and all impressions are that it is an amazing game. Not only is it an amazing game but an important game, a game that makes JRPG’s exciting and fun again, and one of the best games of this console generation. Seriously, there is nothing but praise for this game. I bought a Wii a few months after launch day and was disappointed shortly afterwards because there was next to nothing worth playing. But I held on to it for those few games that would justify not selling this system and this game looks like it’ll be one of the last. So bring it on Xenoblade Chronicles, let’s end the Wii’s lifecycle with a bang.

Skullgirls (Playstation 3, XBox 360 – Q1 2012)

Games of Spring 2012 Skullgirls

The moment I saw Skullgirls I wanted it, and they only showed off two characters. Everything they’ve showed since then just made me want it more. It’s easily my most anticipated game of spring 2012. It’s being made by guys that are fighting game vets and know what they’re doing to get the gameplay just right. Characters are incredibly varied and unique from each other and look fun to play with. It has mechanics like custom assist, scalable teams, and anti infinite systems so you have to play creatively instead of learning loop combos and cheap set ups. Things like that make my inner nerd get very excited about all the possibilities that can come from exploring such an engine. The soundtrack is by Michiru Yamane of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night fame which is just amazing. And look at the game in motion, with such smooth animation, such detail on each character; screen shots don’t do this game justice. Skullgirls has so many small details and touches that it just speaks volumes of how dedicated the team is. Plus it’s got tons of animated boobs so I definitely can’t wait to play it.

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One Response to “NSFW Gamer’s Most Anticipated Games of Spring”

  1. […] impressions have been positive since it’s showed up on the radar. We’ve been anticipating it for different reasons, I’ve gushed over the sexy sprites, and the internet has already opened […]