Google Glass, Pt 1: Already A Missed Opportunity?

Google Glass, Pt 1: Already A Missed Opportunity?

Fucking Google.

I was all set to type up an informative, investigative, and perhaps speculative piece about the newly announced Tits and Glass app for Google Glass, the new piece of headwear that has techies creaming themselves in public and internet forums all over the globe. It should come as no surprise to anyone that a company was developing a way to bring adult material to a fledgling piece of technology; in fact, I was impressed that MiKandi was able to bang it out as quickly as they did. No puns.

Of course, Google could never be associated with such a scandalous perception, and they very coyly changed their policies for Glass developers overnight. The new wording specifically highlights the potential for child pornography, but much like crime and herpes, Google is attempting to put their head in the sand and pretend something will go away if they ignore it. They are blowing off the chance to make themselves a whole lot more money without slandering their “good” name.

Not Safe For Work ~ Nudity

Google Glass, Pt 1: Already A Missed Opportunity?

There was a time, not too long ago, when we used mobile/cellular phones simply for communication in voice or text with other people. A simple combination of a PDA and phone made up one of the first legitimate “smartphones” and gave us the precursor to things like the Blackberry, the iPhone, and the Android operating system. I can remember owning a Palm (fuck them) Treo while under contract to AT&T (fuck them even harder) and attempting to use “apps” through different companies, but since there was no streamlined process like the App Store for iTunes in place, it was a bug-filled nightmare.

Now, we browse and cherry pick programs on our smartphones in seconds. These range from news updates to workout companions to ports of games once confined to a console. As we continue to become more and more reliant on our mobile devices, porn has found its way onto the market, albeit in a bit of a roundabout way.

You see, Apple has a serious issue with putting adult content on the App Store. While plenty of content specifically built for on-the-go fapping has been made, you have to dig through the tube sites to find your personal spank preference. This makes me smirk, seeing as how despite Apple’s insistence on banning adult content on their store, they have no problem indirectly promoting it so long as it does not highlight the Apple name itself. Earlier this year, the app for Vine was removed from the Featured section of the store after…get this…PORN showed up on a public social media site that enables people to share six second clips of amateur video.

NSFW Gamer

I could call the legitimacy of this policy into question considering Apple’s very public and very lucrative partnership with Twitter but I’ll pass. I’m more interested in why Google isn’t jumping on this opportunity with something like Glass. We all are fully aware of how prevalent porn is throughout our daily rituals. Unless you don’t carry a phone on your person, it is impossible for the temptation to look at a few random photos or even a video clip not to creep into your head at some point during your schedule. Apple knows this, and I would love to see hard data TEE HEE HARD SEX JOKE displaying how much mobile traffic is devoted to tube sites like You Porn and xVideo.

Currently, Google sits behind Apple and Exxon Mobil on the list of the world’s most valuable companies. Google is nearly as synonymous with technology as Apple with the only thing preventing equal competition being Google’s decision to make software for phones rather than an actual Google phone. Glass is the first consumer model of its type, and after the kinks are worked out and the price drops, there is real potential for the eyewear to become part of our lives. It will look creepy and Blade Runner-esque at first, but remember the first time you saw some self-important asshole using a Bluetooth headset followed by the first time you saw it and paid no mind.

Porn made a difference for VHS tapes and helped Blu-Ray win out over HD-DVD. Google is also aware of all of this information, but what they choose to do with it could give them that extra nudge that puts them truly even with Apple. Google’s revised wording on their development policy makes it very clear that they will report any instances of child porn, but the language makes it sound more like they are covering their ass legally along with similar policies on the same page that prohibit hate speech, bullying and IP theft. Furthermore, by saying they do not allow “nudity” in any form, they would be vastly restricting the amount of Hollywood movies one would be able to watch through Amazon, Hulu and Netflix, all of whom no doubt are anxious to develop for Glass.

They certainly do not need to participate in actively promoting Glass products that sell, market or otherwise distribute adult content, but is that really a battle they want to fight? Google owns the very search engine that brings millions of people to anything from bikini shots to a woman getting deep-dicked by a German Shepherd. In a certain light, they enable porn to get some of the traffic it relies on to thrive. By simply opting out of the fight against it, they would be doing no more or less harm to their image; if anything, companies like Vivid and Brazzers would flock to Glass over any potential competitors that may pop up over the next ten years and while they would not need to openly state it, their financial backing would go to Google and not, say, Apple.

The potential for new takes on POV porn with this gadget is limitless, and I can only imagine what some of the studios already have in the works. I will tackle gaming on Glass next week, but for now, I think Google is making a real mistake in pulling the plug on all things NSFW with such a promising new device. If they are worried about the potential fallout of displaying and recording adult content with Glass, they should not have even bothered throwing R&D money into the project.

Thousands of years from now, when we inevitably destroy our own species, aliens will find the remnants of a once-great civilization in ruin. Whatever advances in technology we will have made by then, the extraterrestrials will no doubt be fascinated that, as close as we came to matching them in technology, our number one export was simply fucking and putting it on film.

Remember that, Google.

– Anystrom0

SFW and NSFW Tits and Glass:

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One Response to “Google Glass, Pt 1: Already A Missed Opportunity?”

  1. Lordredek says:

    Hey well at least some asshole can’t come up to you and tell you Google Glass to look up some really nasty shit right?