Back in the PS2 day my cousin was watching me play Champions of Norrath Return to Arms and asked me, “Why are you playing as a female character?” My response was, “Because she has big boobs.” Awesome character designs can sometimes set a game apart from the crowd  so it hurts my penis to see such average looking character classes in Diablo 3. I need bigger boobs man!

“Dungeon crawlers” are one of my favorite video game genres and Diablo 2 is in the upper echelon of my top five favorite games of all time along with Metal Gear Solid, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, God of War 1 and Resident Evil 4. These games all have one thing in common – I replayed them immediately after beating them the first time. If I had to pick a sixth game it would have to be Champions of Norrath: Return to Arms for the PS2. Aside from the genre what really made CoN: RtA stand out for me was their sexy character designs. Jesus, do you remember the size of the female wizard’s knockers? They were huge!

What went wrong with the Diablo 3 playable character designs? Talk about average and boring. Is it too much to ask for a little more skin and maybe some bigger titties? The female monk looks like a boy for crying out loud. I get that Blizzard is going for a more “realistic” look but come on where’s the fun in that? At least the female barbarian has the whole Red Sonja thing going on but she is a tad too beefy for my tastes.

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